SCAM Part 17

You know the drill...

My reply to T the G.

T the G,

Thanks for the mail. I'm sorry for the confusion, I sent the money to the wrong place! Silly me! I'm so ditzy at times. Sometimes I even forget to get out of the tub when taking a bath for hours and hours and hours. It kind of reminds me of Arnie in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. He forgets to get out of the tub sometimes and likes to climb water towers. I'm afraid of heights, so I wouldn't ever do that, but sometimes I don't get out of the tub like him.
I went back to the moneygram at my local grocery store and asked the representative about it. He said that I dindeet sent it to the wrong country! i asked him if I could redirect the money to Nigeria. He said that I could for $100 fee that I had to pay to him directly in cash. I wonder why they wouldn't take a check like they did the first time. sometimes I think the moneygram agents arent very honest. I had to go spend a couple hours on State street to get the money for the moneygram agent. I got that to him. He said it would take up to another 2-4 business days to get the money to you. You should go to the bank and see if you can get the money so you can send me the keys via FedEx courier.
How is the AIDS epidemic in Africa? Have you saved any babies lives? You haven't ever answered me about this. Are you ashamed of your work working with the AIDS babies? I would be so proud of my work there. Just like I'm proud of helping out these crack babies that my homosexual uncles adopted. I try to tell everyone that I meet that I've saved their lives so they know that I'm one of God's chosen ones. You should tell everyone about your work there too! I hope that this mail finds you in good health and prosperity.
You are a great man, St. Toher the Gopher. God bless you.
Trisha Fielding

Scam Part 16

You know the drill..

From Topher the Gopher:

Trisha..
Thanks for the mail,i want to ask you this did you send the money through NIGERIA OR NIGER?because from the message you send to me you mention LAGOS NIGER and did you make sure weather you send the money to LAGOS NIGERIA because the is the right destination that you will used to send the money not NIGER and maybe you can go and cross check from the moneygram.

Looking to hear from you soon.

Chris...

Scam Part 15

My response:

Dearest Topher,

I'm not sure why you haven't received the payment yet. Sorry for the delay in this. I went and spoke to the Moneygram representative and asked him why you hadn't received the payment. I gave him the reference number to make sure that it was right. He said when sending money to such a far destination such as Lagos, Niger, the payments can take up to 2-4 business days to be transferred. I think that maybe it wasn't sent yesterday because in the United States it was Thanksgiving day, which ias a national holiday. I don't think that it counts as a business day. The representative said that it would be there either Monday or Tuesday at the latest. My husband left the receipt at the club which is closed for the holiday, so he can't send you the receipt until tomorrow. I hope that's ok.
Because today is a business day, you may want to go try to get the payment again today. He said there was a chance that it would be there today. If it's there, then maybe you can send me the keys? That would be great. We're excited to move into the house. We set up a tent and are camping out in front of the house just so we can move in as soon as we get the keys.
How is Africa? Have you seen any lions recently? I just watched a movie called Lion King which is about Lions. It's a great movie. You should rent it from blockbuster and watch it when you get a chance. It is probably my favorite movie. It takes place in Afrika. I wonder if it's based on a true story. Maybe you know a lion named Simba.. Do you? Is he a king of lioins, or a Lion King? That would be cool.

Thanks, Topher the Gopher. You are a saint among men.
Good bless you and your efforts to save africa from aids and starvation.
Trisha Fielding

SCAM Part 14

Read all the others first.

Another email from dearest Topher:


Hello Trisha,
Thanks alot for all your mails, i hope all is well with you, your kids and the twins. I will want you to know that i went to the bank today hoping to receive the money from Money Gram, but the guy told me that the refrence number is invalid, i don't know why this has happen, am thinking if you might have made a mistake in typing the numbers, or something else, i will want you to go back to the grocery store and let them know that the money refernce number is invalid, and also is it possible for you to send me the Money gram tranfer slip giving to you at the grocery store, just to verify if the numbers are correct.

I will be expecting your mail as soon as possible.

Thanks and God bless.

Topher...

Let it die?

It has been suggested that I put this scammer out of his misery and tell him the truth. I say we put it up to a vote. The highest vote totals at the end of the week will win.

We're moving? What? Wait. No we're not. SCAM Part 13

In order to ensure you know what's going on, read all of the previous entries related to this topic before diving into this one.

Another email from Saint Topher:

Trisha...
Thanks for the mail,and i will like to tell you that am very happy to hear from you back.and i will be expecting your message concrening the payment that you said by thursday you will make the payment,how is every body over there?.


Looking to hear from you soon.

God bless you.

Chris...

My response:

Dearest St. Topher of Nigeria,

Thank heaven and Allah above that I have finally been able to make this payment. It was an ordeal to say the least. The crack baby twins have been a real handful over the past few days, but I was able to get help from an elderly gentleman in our neighborhood, M. Lester Childs. He loves to watch children, and has helped me out this morning watching little Ngabe and Shaniqua. Those poor little babies. They just cry all day long and give me a headache. I don't know why my uncle and his partner adopted them in the first place. They both work full time and travel around the world selling shower curtain rings. I guess I'm just a little mad because of the extra burden on me and my husband, Xantar.
Well, like I said before, St. Topher, I was able to get down to the Moneygram at my local grocery store and make the payment. I was finally able to drop off the kids to Mr. Childs, the elderly gentleman that lives in our neighborhood that loves to watch little kids. When I finally got to the moneygram at my local grocery store after dropping the kids of to Lester, I was able to make the payment. Sorry that it took so long, cuz Lester Childs was busy watching some other kids before he would watch the kids that I'm babysitting. The man at the moneygram at my local grocery store wouldn't let me make the payment with a personal check, so I had to go back to my bank to withdraw the funds and to give to the man at the moneygram at my local grocery store. I tried to withdraw the $2600 to send you through moneygram at my local grocery store, but it seems that I still haven't received a refund from western union (I hate them!). So, I had to go to another business that is in between my house and the local grocery store where moneygram is. The store does pay day loans for people who need to pay bills before their paycheck gets here. You should really open one of these stores in Africa. It is a great way to help the people there get money so they can buy food so they are not starving and so they can buy AIDS vaccines so they don't have to die. Plus, I bet you'd like getting all the extra money in interest from those people over there.
I got the $2600 (finally) at the pay day loan center so that I could take it back to the man at the moneygram at my local grocery store. When I got back to the local grocery store to make the payment to you at the money gram at the local grocery store, the man took my money and asked for where I was going to send it. I gave him the information that we talked about before but I couldn't remember your dogs name again, so I told him the answer was Fido. Fido is a popular dogs name here in America. Maybe you should change your dogs name to Fido. The reference number that he gave me was 24678694. The man at moneygram in my local grocery store said that you could pick that up at the closest moneygram to where you are with the question what is my dogs name and the answer Fido and the reference number.
Well, I better go get Ngabe and Shaniqua from M. Lester Childs before he gets tired of them and won't watch them again. I'll probably need his help after I get the keys from you while we move into your beautiful house. We keep driving past it and think that it is so great. I can't wait until I can live there and take care of it for you while you're doing God's work in Africa.
God Bless you, Dearest St. Topher of Nigeria.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Trisha Fielding.

We're moving? What? Wait. No we're not. SCAM Part 12

READ PARTS 1-11 BEFORE READING THIS POST!

My response to dearest Saint Topher.

Hello Topher...
Is it ok if I call you Topher? I have a cousin-in-law twice removed who we call Christopher who is also selling a house in Herriman. I wouldn't want to confuse the two of you in my mind and send the deposit to the wrong person, so, if it's ok, I'll call you Topher...Topher.. Did you know about the American actor named Toher Grace? He's great. He's been in a couple movies and even on a TV show called "That 70's show." Since i'm catholic and all, I never watched the show. It glorified premarital sexual relations and casual drug use. I could not condone such a show. I stick to shows like Leave it to Beaver and Happy Days. Those certainly were the happy days. I wish I could live in the 1950's back with The Fonz and the rest of the crew. Life was much simpler then.
Thanks for continuing to be patient with me regarding the deposit. I've been so busy with my babysitting job since my 2nd uncle and his gay partner adopted the crack baby twins that I haven't had much time to venture out of the house. I did do some more research on Moneygram on the internets and found a website: http://www.moneygram.com/. What a novel idea, naming your website after your business. Anyhow, I attempted to make the payment to you on their website, but ran into some problems because their website says they don't sent payments to Niggeria or Niggers. I'm not entirely sure why. I'm not computer savy enough to figure that sort of thing out. I guess I'll have to go to the money gram location at my local grocery store like you suggested to find make the payment. Hopefully I'll be able to make it before this Thursday. Again, sorry for the delay. I hope that you haven't rented the house to anyone else while I've been trying to get this figured out.
You still haven't told me about your work in the motherland (Africa). How are the people there? Do they all have aids and are starving? I wish that I was a good enough person to go to africa and give my time and service to the poor people that need help. But I'm kind of selfish in that respect. I'd rather try to get rich by finding really good deals over the internets. I know that I've found this one, and I don't want to let it out of my sight.
Thank you again, Saint Topher, for your kindness and patience. I promise with every fiber of my being that I'm working on getting the payment to you as soon as possible. Those baby's just need a lot of milk, and I can only produce so much at a time, y'know?
Anyway. God Bless you Dearest Saint Topher of Nigeria (Just in case there is another Saint Topher.) I'm going to tell the archdioces of your good work. Perhaps one day you will really become a catholic church recognized saint and be translated into heaven in the twinkle of an eye during the 2nd coming of Christ.
Good day.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Trisha Fielding

We're moving? What? Wait. No we're not. SCAM Part 11

READ PARTS 1-10 BEFORE READING THIS POST!

Another email from dearest "Christopher."

Hello Trisha...
Thanks for the responds, it's nice hearing back from you. Have been wondering why i haven't heard back from you for some days now, I thought you were not interested in renting my home anymore since you didn't reply my message since last week, But i know you still going to say something.i read you messsage believe me i am very sorry for what happen between you and the person you meet at the western union, i think she is wrong for saying that you have been duped, it seems western union cancel the transaction, i think your suggestion is right using Money gram, and also supposing you have send the deposit through western union from either a grocery or a wallmart store, all this might not happen. So sending the deposit through money gram won't be a problem, i will want you to send it from either a grocery or a wallmart store for better convinience. Due what you said about your number being block really got me worried, can i have a cell phone # to call you.

Awaits your mail as soon as possible.

Thanks and God bless.

Christopher....

Hampster Nights

I feel compelled to tell everyone about my ongoing sleepign problem I've had in the past few weeks. I'm constantly woken up by cute lil' Ming Ming running in her wheel, or drinking from her water bottle, or scratching the inside of her food container to get the last seed of whatever is stuck in there.
For HEAVEN'S SAKE MING MING! Why do you have to be nocturnal? Why do you have to run for hours on end (no exaggeration)?
The reason that the wheel makes so much noise is because Ming Ming is quickly becoming a fatty. She's nearly quadrupled in size. Her wheel bounces when she runs, so it bangs into the rest of the cage. Ugh. In fact, she is so big that we had to tape the wheel onto the hole it's connected to because she'd run and bounce it until the wheel fell off.
In fact, that's how she escaped the other night! After getting out of the wheel, she took a 4 foot dive from the dresser (brave little thing, she is). I found her in the closet on my shoes. She was just sitting there looking at me. Then she realized she was in trouble, so she dashed for somewhere to hide. Thankfully I found her quickly.
Anyway, we keep saying that we're going to put you in the other room, but with her recent escape, is that really such a good idea? If she escapes again, it could become a problem. But this lack of sleep has GOT to come to an end.
I guess I gotta finish cleaning out that room and get a table set up for her. We have to make sure that the room isn't too hot or too cold as well.
Ugh.. Ming Ming.. Why can't you just sleep when we do? Grr..

We're moving? What? Wait. No we're not. SCAM Part 10

READ PARTS 1-9 BEFORE READING THIS POST!

Another email that d.bag "Chris" sent me. Apparently he's getting pretty antsy about recieving his much-earned deposit.

Trisha..

How are you hope everything is fine,and i want to ask you maybe you get my last message concerning on the MTCN you gave me?and i was expecting your call since all this day's why?

Looking to hear from you soon.

God bless you.

Chris..

--------
My Response:

"Christopher,

Dearest kind sir, I do so appreciate the patience that thou hast shown on my behalf during this ordeal. I sincerely apologize for the extended period of thyme that has elapsed since the last electronic mail that I initiated.
Following your previous email, I returned post-haste to the place of business of the so-called Western Union. It seems that there has been some sort of error in the transferring of the deposit to you. When I presented the courteous hostess with the MTCN number that I had provided toist thou, a small smirk appeared henceforth upon her face. She told me that perhaps I had been duped. She called me various names such as, "idiot," "stupid face," and "douch bag." The latter, likely, because I called her the whore of the earth.
I refuse the refuse that is Western Union, and I vow with God as my witness that I will ne'er do business with them again.
I hope to sendist thou the payment in question via Moneygram. Receivest thou payments via Moneygram, good sir? Thouest post-haste reply to this electronic mail would be most appreciated.
Thou hasn't responded to my question regarding the work of God in fair Africa. How goest the work? Hast thou decifered the AIDS virus into a cure? Hast thou saved children from the brink of starvation? Hast thou been translated from on high and caught up with the only true God?
Your reply is much anticipated, good sir.

God bless you and your family as you attempt to save the world from thine transgressions.
Repent all ye ends of the earth!
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Trisha Fielding"