Fear

Last night, I was the most scared than I likely have been in my entire life. Ryan woke up for a feeding with his normal quiet babbling in his bassinet. I turned on the light and went and got him. I set him down on the bed in between me and Trisha and laid down next to him. The weight of my shifting body put his head a little below his body, and exactly at that moment he spit up a very tiny amount and breathed in or hiccuped. He started choking again. Ugh.. I hate it so much. Trisha ran and got the sucker thing while I was trying to keep him calm and his airway open. He was crying, so I knew he was breathing, but he was struggling. He would try to swallow it down, but it was mucusy so it was hard for him to swallow. It would build in his mouth a bit and then he'd cry and breathe more in. I started sucking out all the stuff with the bulb sucker, but I wasn't getting very much, and it made him cry even harder when I would do it. He was inconsolable and I was ready to call 911 or drive him to the ER because he was getting so red in the face and it wasn't getting better. I decided to call my mom (Thanks Mom!) to see if she had any suggestions. She told me to continue sucking the stuff out and he should work it out. I decided that him crying harder was ok if I could get more mucus out. I got out a little more, still not a ton in there, which I think helped.
What it took was feeding him so he had something to push the mucus that his lungs were producing down to his tummy. That did the trick.
He ate for a few minutes and then fell asleep with no other problems.

Trisha and I just sat there afterwards and talked about what we needed to do if it happened again and we talked about how much we love Ryan and it would absolutely devastate us if something happened to him. I spent an hour or so looking up things online to see what could be causing the problem and what other people have done to help the situation. There are a couple things that were prominent (acid reflux, cow milk in the mother's diet, cold/pneumonia, etc.), but none of them seem to match how it happens to Ryan. I guess that it just happens occasionally. It just scares me to death. Our biggest fear is that it will happen in his sleep one night and we won't wake up from his crying. I know that I would wake up, because I wake up to his little wiggles and moaning when he's hungry. But what if he didn't cry very loud, or what if he couldn't cry at all?

Parenthood is stressful! I never thought that I could care for a child so much. I would do anything to protect him. I just hope that this isn't an ongoing issue, cuz it freaks me out so bad. Ugh...

Home at last

Wow, what an experience. And finally, we are home. What a great feeling to be able to get home with our baby and relax. Our stuff, our space, our home. Also, props to Penny for cleaning our house so well! You rock! Thanks so much!
Its so nice to be at home where we are more comfortable and able to veg out and relax. It's also really nice to not have to worry about someone coming in every 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that we had the nurses to help out, but it kinda sucks to try to sleep when people are coming in to help, but their timing always seemed to be as I was falling asleep. It was uncanny.

Next, I want to thank our nurses at the hospital. We had some GREAT nurses (and a couple to remain nameless who left something to be desired.) By name, we wanted to thank Kathleen, Kristi, and Isabel fir their great work and for making our experience a good one. There were several other nurses that did a great job, but those 3 went above and beyond.

We also wanted to thank everyone for their support, love and prayers. For those that visited, thanks for the company. For those who couldn't come because of illness, thanks for being thoughtful about our baby's (and our) health. For those who couldn't come, but wanted to, thanks for the support and everything. We understand that it's tough to get out, especially with kids and on such a short notice. For those who weren't able to come and didn't want to, screw you, clown! ;)

thanks again! Come visit if you want! Love you all! Now we are off for baby's second tubby and some much needed sleep!

My "fun" diaper changing experience.

So there I was, thinking I was a pro, changing my 6th or 7th diaper. Ryan had a wet one and as I checked it out, he started to poop. So I set the diaper down over him and waited for him to finish his business. 10 seconds or so later he spit up pretty bad so I got out the bulb sucker thing. I started to try to use it, but he was choking a bit. So what do I do? I try to turn him over a bit to get it all clear and he starts flailing about and choking. So I promptly panic. I pick him up to clear his airway. Oops!! There goes the diaper! I pull him up to my chest and put my hand underneath him for support. I use the sucker and get things all clear.
Well, he was pretty upset about not breathing well for a few seconds and starts crying. All the tension from his cry tightens his stomach.
Out comes the poo!
Right into my hand!
At this point, I'm kinda out of available hands, so we call in the nurse to help me out.
I'm proud of myself for not freaking out and getting him breathing again, and even more proud for not puking with a handful of poo!

He's here!!!

Wow. What a day this has been. What a week this has been. What a pregnancy this has been. And here we are enjoying the company of this beautiful new boy! What an experience. Lots of waiting. A little frusterating at times at the lack of progress. But with the support of family and friends and our AMAZING nurse Kathleen, we made it through. What a miracle!

In the coming days and weeks, you may notice the "Sears Nick" (come see the softer side of Nick. ). I'll probably be all cheesy and sugary over my baby boy. But, you can't blame me! He's so damn cute!!

I'll be posting some high quality pics soon for all to see. For now, Trisha and I are waiting for his first tubby and then off to bed.

Guess what?!

I'll give you 2 guesses as to whether we're still waiting. You're only going to need one guess.

Ladies and gentlemen start your engines!!

They are starting the pitocen drip in her IV now. They put a scalp monitor on the baby's head and her water broke. That's right. She has been popped!

Waiting for our little miracle...

Here we are at the hospital. Trisha's blood pressure has been pretty elevated so far, only 1 of the readings came back in the normal range. I don't know why I expected this to go any quicker. I guess that there are other more pressing deliveries happening right now. It's looking more and more like he won't be born until tomorrow. Well. Here's to waiting.

2 months off is plenty!

I have been shirking my duties. No more! Back by popular demand! Nix Blog!

I have been using Facebook a bit to keep everyone notified of Trisha and my state of being, but I figure that I should use my blog for that! Well, here I am. Of course, I thought of this 6 weeks ago, but I procrastinated until now.

So, the current status of things:

Trisha = Pregnant and ready to pop
Ryan = Stubborn and unwilling to come out to play
Nick = Nervous
Work = Going really well. Alianza is an exciting place to be these days. I'm SO blessed to have a good job (and one that I love!)
House = Messier than we would like, but overall, in good condition. Still need to get our tile floor fixed. The grout is all out again, and a couple more tiles have cracked because they shifted on the uneven subfloor. Boo!
Life = Good.

Mosquito Tally

I just marked each mosquito bite with a pen mark and counted them as I went.
My left leg has 72 bites.
My right leg has 78 bites.

That's right. 150 effing mosquito bites on my legs/feet. WTF?

Mosquitoes Suck

I went up to my friends brother's house up in Kaysville again to make wands a full week ago. When we were there, there were a couple of mosquitoes flying around, but I decided that they were tolerable, especially since they weren't everywhere. My friend offered me some Off! so I could keep them from bugging me. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt, shorts and flip flops and thought that they would leave me alone, and if I noticed more of them, I would put it on.
These mosquitoes had to have been in ninja mode, because I didn't see or feel a single one bite me, I only saw a couple flying around my face, and trust me, I was constantly checking my legs because I didn't want to be getting bites.
Boy, am I an idiot for not using the off. I have lost HOURS of sleep over this, so I'm tired. They got me on my toes, on my Achilles tendon, all over my feet and calves.

See the pictures below. These pictures are from a FULL WEEK after the bites took place.
I am miserable.